Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
