I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
