Is it because I queefed?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
