I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
