Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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