You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
