Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
