are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
