good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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