Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize