Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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