Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
