when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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