I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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