apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
