we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All the doctor said was why
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
