did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
