I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
