I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
