I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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