I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
