Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
