New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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