we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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