I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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