If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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