Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
