I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
