i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
