If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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