birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
