yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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