dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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