So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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