Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
kristin has been a bad kristin
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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