if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
