I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
is it fun? or sober?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
