I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
