I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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