Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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