i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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