I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
