If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
