then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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