yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
