Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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