is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
