Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
