Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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