I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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