There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
