I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
